After w*nking myself senseless the night before, testosterone levels were low. I have to be honest, I didn't feel up for this one. My hamstrings were also tight as hell after my first yoga session on Monday. It was obvious that Andy would make me pick. The retard always does on the nights I need to warm up more than ever.

The Yellows consisted of myself, my maker, Mark, his maker, Bob, Dave Woods with an S, Tourettes (more on that later), Andy Smith and Gaz. This was a team picked on a total football basis, which I assumed would counteract their extra man.

The Whites consisted of Dave O (only his second game and first time picking), Harvey, One Two, Carl, Paul Hackett, Ali, Noel, Mac, Phil and Neil (not Phil Neil, who may have made the different for them)

I decided to set up the team in a standard 4-4-2 formation. With Aussie and Woody as wing banks, it had balance and pace. My aim was to sit deep and bypass their midfield. We soaked up a bit of pressure in the first 5-10 minutes before it was pointed out to me that we only had 9 players. It was more of a 4-2-2 formation. Big Geoff was now warm and headed up front as a target man.

15 minutes in, the whites still had control of the game, perhaps the extra man was counting. At this point I decided to come out of goal. The game changed and we started to create more changes. I couldn't do all that much (due to my left hamstring feeling scarily close to snapping) but my shear presence and positional play had the desired effect.

Looking back, me coming out of goal did coincide with Harvey suffering what looked like a pretty serious knee injury and effectively making the sides even. Injuries obtained without contact are usually pretty bad. Having suffered a constant string of them myself and seeing how hard he works in the gym, my heart goes out to him. Hopefully it's not as bad as it looked!

A defensive error gifted the Yellows the first goal. Andy Eyres slotted in calmly under pressure. Something that he needs to teach Gary, who later missed a multitude of chances. Shortly after, Gary received the ball on the left wing, and pulled back a decent ball into the middle, my momentum took me passed his brother and I slotted in a left footer. 2 nil

With Harvey off the pitch and Andy Eyres getting better throughout the game, the Yellows should have been out of sight. Unfortunately Paul Hackett was given time to run in centre mid field and curled a great long distance effort past the blinded Dave Woods. Probably the best goal I have ever seen from him. 2-1

At this point, the Austin's stepped up. Aussie had been excellent all game and Mark dropped back to clear what seemed like 37 balls into the area. A long distance thumper from Andy Eyres mega thighs sealed the game at 3-1. I was pretty far away but it looked like the ball actually travelled through Mac on its way in.

Thanks to my team for a great all round performance. Although the win margin could have been a lot wider, it is noted that the loss of Harvey probably swung the game for me. An unlucky event for the Whites Captain and even more so, Harvey

The night ended with a classic Tourettes moment from Andy when it took him 6 minutes to unlock the door. The simple yet hilarious dialogue reads:

Blake: Come on rain man, hurry up!

Andy: Get out my f*cking light then you f*cking c*nt!

MOM Geoff Sheen Why, because he is my Dad

P.S Apologies that the winning Captain could not make the pub. It doesn't happen often