Terry Neil 70’s manager at Arsenal ran a sweepstake as to how close to kick-off a player could have sex.  +30’s do it differently.  Chris would be favourite, though I have doubts about Noel’s story that he broke down just outside the ground a few months ago.  Then there’s Blake who on Wednesday did a U-turn on Rivacre Road when someone claiming to be Snow-White rang him promising a birthday present!  Yes, the same Blake who hours earlier said: “This is getting stupid - someone make it 14!”.

Ruined my picking strategy.  Left with a bunch of has-beens & kids (you never win anything with kids!).  What could we do against the Evans Evil Empire? Shots raining down from Jonny, & Gary blasting the post.  Who could rescue us?  We needed a super-hero! And then, who could it be?  Was  it a bird, was it a plane?  Was it a Ciabatta -no! or a Foccacia with walnuts & olives?  No, It was ... Garlic-Bread Man!  See how he swoops to tip the ball round the post.  He skilfully placed Chris on the post to repel corners – pinging the ball in any direction bar up the friggin' pitch.

Despite Mike’s comeback scrambled goal, improved – with Chris scoring, & with the Munroe family patrolling the wings & young Ben, once he realised that the raiding Harvey wasn’t as shite as he thought, snuffed out his threat.  Dave got one, with Jay scoring another stormer from the right wing – they keep going in from the same spot recently. Sylvan made the difference in the middle.  Despite a comeback with Gary taking advantage of me & my bus pass, to put Andy in, Dave settled things down with a typical finish.

Laurie was just left with crumbs of consolation. Yes, garlic breadcrumbs. He certainly didn’t leave with the balls or the kitbag.  And man of the match was, of course, Richie.  Did great in goal & had the sense to stop me replacing him.