It was another one of those days where I was debating whether to go. My foot was sore from the previous match and both my shirts were in the wash basket still. I decided to keep up the momentum. Something felt right.

Gary presented the picking board to Richie and I. I'd forgotten that I was paired with Richie and was even more surprised to be reminded I was 4 nil down from the first leg. Richie then took off his top to reveal a beautiful golden torso, sixpack and pecs included. How could I compete against Sheik Peter Andre? Luckily I had first pick. My game plan was clear from the beginning, pick the fastest, strongest, most skilful and best looking players. Bren was first.

3 hrs later, as Richie put on an item of his kit between each pick, I was happy with my men. The game plan was also simple. Score loads of goals. Tom looked delighted with his orders. I knew this would be my night.

Within 5 minutes, we were one nil down. I pushed on when I shouldn't have and they countered perfectly. My brother in law then put one past Bren 1 nil. I wasn't worried.

There is no way I can remember the 11 we scored after that, except to say that most were outstanding. I will therefore note down a few notable moments

Gary P taking out Paul Hackett - this was before the game started. How the slender Mr Parker can knock down the 6ft10 Paul Hackett using only a football is beyond me. Might have been something to do with his new size 28s

Andys shooting - Awful! One of them over the fence. I took great pleasure in this

Toms p1ss taking - He literally stopped mid game to count on his hands how many goals he scored. I took great pleasure in this

Andys impression of Tom in the showers after - Nothing gives me more pleasure than my best man being genuinely irate

Gary W going home after the match to avoid getting covid from the pub - I'll laugh at this every Wednesday for the next 6 months

A huge thank you to the Whites. It was one of those games where we all played at a top level. The football was slick and the finishing was sublime. I feel like, if I mention how sh1te the Yellows were, it would take away from our performance.

MoM is obviously Richie.

MoM for the website is a very tough call. Originally I chose Tom for 4 goals, 4 assists and total wind up of Andy. However, on reflection I'm going for Gary W. An outstanding performance linking up the defence and attack.

P.S I think some people think that I didn't know that Richie had pulled out his belly button fluff and put it on my head. I did. I still haven't washed me hair. Love you