A late drop out (not Bren) meant we would be down to odd numbers for tonight’s fixture and that Mike and I would be captains.

I was 3-0 down from the first leg, so a good performance was required and I was going to need a few goals to get back into it. After the picking had concluded, I was very happy to see I had the clubs’ three leading goal-scorers on my team (with 35 goals between them!), so despite being a man down, a comeback didn’t seem out of question.

The yellows started promisingly, moving the ball well, and the opener arrived around the ten minute mark with Tom providing the assist for the running Dave at the back post. A good start.

Not long after, Gary W found the ball at his feet whilst unmarked in the middle of the park and with a clear path in front of him, drove forward with two touches and applied a very neat finish. 2-0.

Bren had assured everyone he’d brought the correct goalie gloves this week, so I was surprised to see him roll the slowest, trickle of a ball out to Mike who was standing near the middle of the pitch. Mike, obviously horrified by the speed (or lack of it) that the ball was moving in his direction, was immobilised, perhaps from the shock, and Tom nearby was quick to toddle up and sidefoot a high looping lob over Bren who was equally glued to the spot in the middle of his area. A gift from the Whites. 3 - 0 ... game on!

A headed own goal from Paul made it four, and then with 15 minutes to go, Gary W put in the fifth. I turned back toward my goal, raised my eyebrow and blew on my cup of tea in Carlo Ancelotti-esque fashion. Job done. 5-0.

The whites had peppered shots at the surrounding areas of my goal all night and continued to pile on the pressure for the remaining minutes of the match. Mike came very close to lobbing me too, but I managed to get a flailing arm to it to swipe it away. I also gifted Mike the ball directly in front of our goal, but by some miracle the ball went straight through his legs and up toward the midfield.

On the counter, Dave placed a lovely lofted cross over to Tom, who decided to try and catch the ball first time on the volley, but unfortunately “Mr Hollywood” missed it completely and in spectacular fashion. Tom followed that up with a slow-motion rabona attempt which was equally ridiculous - and immediately following that the whites gained possession and charged at us, which ended with Reuben squaring the ball to Cush which he tucked away into the bottom corner.

Game ends 5 - 1.

Many thanks to the yellows for the top notch performance, I got exactly what was expected... the leading goalscorers all delivered, Jonny was ever-commanding at the back, and Brian kept kicking the ball out of play! :)

MOM - Dave O - box to box throughout the game, a goal and a few crucial blocks at the back to avoid me having to make a save was appreciated!

On a personal note, the win capped off a good week for the Parkers, as I became an uncle and Neil became a dad. Edie Parker - future Plus 30 women’s superstar!